I will FINISH.....

You hear me I WILL FINISH!!!!!! My high school diploma.. I do not care if it takes me pushing every single person that is negative away or whatever I have to do, I have came too far to just turn around and walk away from it all.. 

I am here in California, I made this choice to move here when I lost my job, what the heck I didn't have a job anymore anyways so I am here now and while I'm here I am not sitting back and be lazy I am finishing my school and so is my husband.. Sure I often get mad and talk of quiting school and coming home but know I'm not really.. I am no quitter anymore and I will make sure I am done with all that I want to accomplish before I leave this big ole state of Califorina if I end up leaving it that is.. 

I enjoy my life here, maybe you don't but I do and I don't look at the picture right in front of me as much as the future picture I know I will get a car, job and my own place it just takes some time.. I don't have a lot of money, I wasn't born into a family that could afford to hand me what I want and needed, neither was Steven so we are WORKING for what we need and want in life.. We will get it too we always have and always will.. 

So before you ask me about moving home just ask your self, Are they finished with all their accomplishments and schooling?? You should be able to answer those questions for your self.. 

If my mom wants to move home before we are done that's on her, I can't stop her she is her own person, she said that she won't leave Lynn and Braxton but I really don't know.. So if you have questions about her and when she'll be moving back take those to her, because I don't know.. 

This is SOME of my thoughts for now!! Be back for the next post when I think of more! 

I had a Dream once....

As we celebrate MLK today being off work and out of school I can't help but think of this... 

I was just a kid and in the fifth grade in school, it was close to MLK day so we did a lot of talking about him and his speech that's most famous of "I have a dream" 

So as we were sitting at lunch talking and joking around about having dreams my friend and I thought we would write our own dream speeches, it started like this.. 

I have a dream....When I get older I will marry Wesley (he was a fourth grader that went to our school,) I would have some type of job and a huge house.. A fancy car and I believe I said I would have kids also, this went on and was a pretty long speech I had, and my friend also had one too which I can't seem to remember it now.. (I'm sure she remembers so when she reads we will see) 

I wish we would of writen them on paper so we could look back and laugh now at all the funny things we had said to each other and we thought would be when we were older, which most of our dreams have came true although we aren't married to the young men we originally wrote into our speech but we just made up these things as we were only like 10 years old.. 

We both are now very happy and married with children so that part of our dreams are now true.. I would never change that dream now I love Steven and our two children more then anything! ;) I am still working on the other parts of getting that dream job, house and car but those things will all come with time.. 

It was just a fun time as we were kids and I am so thankful me and her forever will Share this time as best friends together!! 

If you ever have a dream just write it down so later on you can look back and see what you wrote about, and make those dreams happen. They don't have to be excact but close to it ;) 

Thanks MLK for given Sarah and I a wonderful memory to always remember ;)

This day is also Special to us, since this week is when our little Angel baby Griffin would of been born in 2010, it's so hard to believe he/she would of been 4 years old this year and doing all the things DannieLynn is doing, and often saddens me but I get by knowing my grandma Marthra and now Grandma Hill is loving that baby to pieces ;) we were also given little Braxton shortly after we miscarried in July, then found out September we would be having another baby.. Which you never can replace someone you loose.. We love you little Griffin, I actually remember getting to hold this little baby after it had past it was very odd to me at the time and the way it looked but now looking back at least I was able to hold the baby!! 

Well guys this is all I have for today I really hope you enjoy reading... 

Until next time ;)  

I am feeling....

TORN between two totally different places which mean a lot to me and I'm constantly fighting it at this moment as to what to do. 

Note to reader I have been thinking of this blog for a few days but I just didn't know how I wanted to say everything so I had to hold off and make sure it would be right... 

Here we go... 

First off North Carolina, your one of my fights, I often feel like I want to pack all my stuff up and move back home to you where I was born and raised up at.. Where almost all of my family is living at and everything I ever knew is at.. So it's just a safe place for me I guess we could say.. 

Then there is California which we just moved too and it's a brand new beinging for us all.. We don't know a lot of people and it's a totally new place all the way around.. 

We have been here in California for right at five months, which has been a pretty good five months, we are still getting settled in to the new state and learning the way around and getting everything set up for us to be here.. Still haven't gotten mine or Stevens drivers licenses but we did get a California phone number.. 

We miss our families back home so much it's not even funny but we are handling it pretty well with text, FaceTime, Facebook, Phone Calls,and any other form to stay intouch with everyone! 

We have enrolled into school, which mom has completed and now has her GED, Steven and I are still enrolled and will take us until about June or July could be a little longer but we will be done this year.. which we have stepped away from for the moment to try and figure everything out, but we are leaning a lot towards going back into schooling before we loose our credits for the class we are almost done with.. 

Moving back to North Carolina we would be completely starting over again, which would be getting into school and starting from the bottom, which we are almost done here.. We will probably be back in school Monday tho and get this schooling done.. 

Going home seems like a easy way out for us, since we are kinda in a struggle we don't have a car or our own place and even jobs at that, but you can't just have those things over night.. Which we are starting to see better and understand a lot clearer.. 

When we get upset or mad the first thought is oh well I'll just go home but we don't have the money for that and the money we are going to spend to drive home will be more then just buying us a car and really being able to enjoy California, we always seem to work those thoughts out tho and we aren't often mad at anyone around here.. 

But when 10 people are living in the same house you know things will happen you don't like and others don't like but it all seems to work out in the end.. 

Steven has a job which is Denny's and he is enjoying it pretty good, he is talking to the managers about maybe moving up to be a waiter and that will get him more money not hourly it will stay the same but becoming a waiter he would be making his hourly wages plus tips which could become a pretty good amount of money.. 

Mom has applied to some jobs and is waiting to hear back from them.. when she lands a job it will be a lot better on her to be able to get out and do something and make her own money each day.. 

I have applied to a few jobs but haven't heard much anything back I am wanting to really finish up schooling before I get a job but I am seeing that I need a job then I can just go to school around it because my unemployment will be running out soon and I have to at least have some type money coming in.. 

We have been talking to Jeffrey about buying his Hatchback Honda and that way at least we have a small car for like going to school and being able to go a little further to find a job, which would save us a bunch of money a week since riding the bus and trolley is around $30.00 a week for the two of us.. 

We don't want to move home we want to give this a real chance and be able to enjoy it here, although I hate the heat I can deal.. So the main focus is us being able to finish our schooling and get jobs which we are doing.. 

I know I talked to many people and some I might of told you I hated Califorina but a lot of those talks come when I am pretty angry at something or just having a bad day.. It's hard being in a new place don't get me wrong but you have to give it a longer try then five months to see if it will really work out for you.. 

Needing my own home is something I am wanting so that I can get back to the ways I have always done things but I know that will happen in time, can't rush things like that.. I have truly learned that if you rush into a new place or whatever without fully checking into it you'll hate it.. 

Which I have said to many people including the people we live with that California is too high in price for me and my little family but then I am reminded that the pay here is higher so it all is balanced out.. The min wages here will be going up to $9.00 come July so that will be a good thing to look forward too, which I am hoping to have a good job and be making more then that by then but we will see.. 

I really need to work on this Routine stuff and get Lynn into a type of routine so that we can get her ready for school, which I really hope she is going to enjoy! 

But to be back on my subject here.. I am very torn on to weather or not I wanted to move back home or stay here in California but after some talks and figureing things out I believe we will give it some time and see if we can work our way up to having the things we had back home!! 

We want our families to have a vacation place they can come out too and see us and enjoy a different state!! 

I hope you enjoy this blog today but please note it is very hard to write with small children lol, they keep side tracking me.. So I might have repeated some of my stuff but idk.. Hope you still enjoy it and I'll be posting again SOON!!!! 

Your feedback is always welcome! 

Hello there 2014...

Happy New Year Day!!! 

Well 2014 came up on us pretty fast this year, I think most of it is because I haven't had a job in 4 or 5 months so time was flying by.. I hope you all had a good time bringing in this New Year... I also hope this is going to be a great year for you all... 

For me and my family I am hoping that we have a wonderful and safe 2014, I want to get in shape and loose some weight without starving lol.. 

Also I want my husband and I to be able to save up money and not have to struggle this year.. 

I want our marriage to get stronger not weaker and for us to not argue much at all ;) which we don't really argue much but we do sometimes!! 

We are also excited our baby girl will be turning 5 years old next month, and that means she'll be going into school in August which is crazy... It doesn't seem like I should be having a kid going in to school they are babies lol... But I think she will love it... 

I just have to learn a routine to get her into so that she is well rested and will enjoy school and all the things that comes with being in school... I have never been one to be on any type routine we just do whatever when ever the only time I ever had any type routine is when I always made them eat dinner around the same time each night when I cooked for them ;) 

Braxton Connor will also be turning the big ole 3 this year, I have plans to get him fully potty trained and to learn how to talk more then he is and try and get him on the level of a 3 year old.. Which I know I probably can't do but I can help him as much as possible and if the speaking doesn't increase by his birthday we will be back on the road to getting him into the speech doctors and figure this thing out for the baby boy!! Which he is smart as a whip he just can't talk much.. 

This year I also want Steven and I, plus mom and everyone else to find a good job that is good paying and has set hours not these crazy hours like Denny's throws Steven on.. 

I also want to become closer with The Lord and be able to get into a good church and become a way better person within my self.. 

I don't feel I'll forever stay in California,  but I am wanting, where ever we go in life to be a good one and for us to be able to afford our own place and things we want and need... 

I just don't feel California is my forever home, it's too hot for me and just to far away from everyone I have always been around.. I will deeply miss my brother when I go back home but he is great on understanding and will let us make the choices we think we need to make... 

2014 is a brand new beginning so make it a good one... The past is the past.. Now is now so don't make those same mistakes you did in 2013, make better decisions and less mistakes.. Although we do learn from those mistakes!! 

I don't believe I'll be eating my collard greens and black eyed peas today.. That's more of a southern thing not a western ;) but I will be sure to eat something green for the money, and probably we will have pinto beans.. 

Hope you all have a great day and a very great year... Keep a watch as I try and blog more through out 2014, I'll post the links onto Facebook so you'll know when to come and read... 

Love you all... 

-Danielle ❤