I am just NOT Ready....

Oh my five years have already passed and it's time for Kindergarten for our big girl DannieLynn.. I keep telling my self in my mind, I am just not ready for this but I know I have to be.. I can't stop her from growing up and that would NEVER be anything I would want to do anyways.. I am so blessed to see her growing up and being her Mommy.. I wouldn't change anything about our big girl.. I am so very much proud of her and it's so amazing all the things she has learned so far in her life and I know a lot more is to come.. I hope and pray that she will love school, and that she will be ready to learn all that she can in school..

But back to the title here, why I feel like I am not ready... Well that's a lot to do with little things I keep battling with my self..

I keep thinking, what if she gets lost and won't talk to the teachers so they can help her get back to her class or know her name...

What if she doesn't tell the teacher she needs to potty and uses the bathroom on her self..

what if she doesn't talk and tell the ladies what she wants for lunch..

what is she chokes on something and the teacher isn't paying attention..

That is some of my WHAT IF's and I know it's CRAZY right... This is what my mind keeps going back and forth with but I know she will be ok and I know that it's all in my mind..

After meeting her teacher today and seeing how well DannieLynn acted with her and around her, it makes me feel a lot better and I feel like she will be ok and know to talk to her teacher and let her know if she is needing something.. She was relaxed and willing to do what the teacher asked of her today and it was pretty amazing to see..

SO after today, I finally think my mind and everything is more prepared for this school year and I can't wait to hear all about her first day of school and how excited she will get talking about all that happens everyday!! I can't wait until she brings home cool little things she made in class and all they'll do in this 2014 School year!!

I am going to TRY my best to take a photo of her EVERY day before school and also make her a book with each year of school with all her things she brings home and everything..

I am kind of excited to have a child in school now although it will take some time getting used too..


Love you guys thanks for reading... I'll be back soon to post more!!

❤ Danielle

Little bit about life..

So I haven't wrote in a while, I haven't had much to say but I am going to try and try to write more and all that good stuff. I am going to look for something to write about and try to make some good use out of this blogging and hopefully I can get a lot more readers and all that other nice stuff too.  I have started on my own little Fictional Blog but I haven't gotten it all down enough to post it yet and I haven't worked on it too much here lately because I have been busy with a lot of other things that have been going on. But I am here today and going to write a little bit, Starting with my son and some things that he has been doing here lately..


Man I don't know but I feel like I am going a little crazy here.. My son which is Two and a half years old will NOT potty train, we have tired and tired with him and he just won't do it. I mean he will take off his diaper outside and pee on the ground or he will take off the diaper and he will pee on the floor but he won't go in his potty and it's crazy. Every time he gets in the bath tub he will pee and then when it comes to his pooping he will take off the diaper and poop on the ground on the floor in the tub anywhere but in his potty. Sometimes he will go in the potty but it will not finish in the potty. I love him to death but I am getting tired of cleaning poop up out of the floor lol. and it's gross I don't know what else to do about it.. He won't use the bathroom in one spot he moves around like a new little puppy and it just doesn't make any sense to me I have never heard of any other child doing this or seeing any child doing this my daughter didn't even do this. He also won't sit down to poop he has to squat down way down where his bottom is almost touching the floor. to me it's odd maybe I need to talk with his doctor and see what she thinks but I have no clue for now. I just have to deal with it and make sure he is using it in the bathroom floor so I can properly clean it up after he is all done.

Besides all this we have taken all our stuff out of the buildings here and are going through it all and boxing it up in better boxes. We have been pulling out some stuff that needs to be put into our Yard Sale and everything like that too, I even went through the bedroom with both kids things and ours and pulled out a lot to get it ready for the yard sale. I really don't want to sale my crib and toddler bed but I believe I am going to let it go and when I have another baby I will just buy more, and when we get into our own place I will get the kids a new bed they like and everything else. When we do move into our own home we will be starting all over again and that's so exciting to me, some people don't like it but I love it. I like a fresh new start sometimes and this is the time I like it. Also this time when we go into our own home I will be so glad and thankful and do whatever I can to stay there, I don't want to move anymore I want a forever home. I mean I will be renting a place so I want to stay there for years until I am able to buy my own home and then moving will be ok with us. But we have lived in too many places for our Five year old and she is going into school so it's time to settle and be done with moving and get her somewhere she loves so much!

I really hope and wish that when we do go into a home this next time it might be a renting with option to buy that way we can stay there for a really long time and then buy the place that would be super cool I would love that. I am so darn picky tho on where I want the kids going into school so I have to get a place where I want them in school and soon because I don't want to be moving them or us whenever they start into school. My mother never moved me so I don't want to move them.

DannieLynn is growing up so big, she is becoming a smart little girl. That for now has a little bit of a smart mouth lol, I love her to death but some of the things that come out that child's mouth blow my mind. But heck what can I honestly say she learned from the best "Her Momma" I was a smart mouth girl and I can still be sometimes when I need to be but I have chilled out a whole lot more now that I am a mother then what I was before having kids.. I can't wait to see how she actually acts in school and what the teacher will have to say about her lol.. I love her she might be a good kid and not talk much but if she has changed from her daycare days man I have it coming to me..

Everyone knows about Braxton's little issue with his testicle area and having to go into the ER for that, well it's still not fixed or anything and here we have no insurance on him to have another look on it or anything but I have to get it taken care of ASAP and I will get that done. But also on top of that issue we have going on with him, the other day we sat down to have some lunch and he ate a soft shell taco from taco bell, Drank some Mountain Dew Code Red and then had some Wild Cherry Lifesavers and something with the mix broke him out pretty good so I had to get him some Benadryl  and call up his doctor to see how much of it to give him since it was his sister Benadryl and it said not to give it to his age and all I had to call and get an approval on that one.. I am guess we will have to go through the testing with him also with this allergy mess and all that stuff.. I hated that with DannieLynn and I know I will hate it with Braxton too but I rather know what not to give him then to give it to him again and something worse happen to him.

So here is a little look into what has been happening here lately for us and all that other good stuff I am hoping to start writing a lot more and getting my readers and all up and hopefully I will get that blog up and going too I just feel I want to get so far ahead before I start posting it so my readers won't get all mad if I don't have a post or anything like that I want to make sure I have enough to post so many days a week and then too keep on writing and all that other stuff..

Good Night all I hope you enjoyed my Ramble here today!

❤ Danielle

Emotions...

Have you ever just felt so many emotions at one time, and you just didn't know what to do or where to turn? 

Well yeah that's how I have been feeling here lately and some of those which include: 

Stressed 

Worried

Confused 

Sad

Happy

Excited

Also many more, it's just crazy when you become the adult and you have to make the decisions and do what you think is best.. When all your life mom did that for me.. 

I've been feeling stressed here, because I don't know what to do or where to go! 

Feeling worried is because I am worried about what others always think or say and I know I shouldn't but I do and that's my biggest mistake on my part I let what others say effect me way to much.. 

Confused comes in with everything, I feel I have my mind made up and then it's just like well no that's not what I want and then I don't know what I want so it makes it crazy.. 

Sad here because I really miss all my family and the close friends back in North Carolina, but I am trying to make the best life for us and the kids.. 

Happy because I am talking to you guys a lot and I get to hear about how everyone is and I love everyone! 

Excited here well because I am excited a lot of times for No reason at all.. I mean really little things make me excited.. 

All these emotions are coming in with that big ole battle I have been having forever now... 

Do I want to Stay in California, or Do I want to move back to North Carolina??

I know I know if I left it open to everyone they would tell me to move home all but Jeffrey and Carl they like us here but want us to be happy no matter if it's staying here or going home.. 

I kind of feel like I want my cake and I want to eat it too but I can't have both, so when I have to choose is when I become overwhelmed with all these emotions here.. 

I want to stay here in California, well because it's so new to us and it's like a Brand New beginning.. How often do you get a new start on things? Also because we have came a long way since we got here Six Months ago! We are getting more settled in and going to be able to afford a car hopefully soon and maybe our own place.. With the fact mom and I have to get a job.. 

Steven already has a job and he is waiting on a Promotion which will be a lot better for him and give him more hours and more money also.. But that's on hold because we haven't really made up our minds as to what we want to do... 

Well then there is going back to North Carolina, which that is totally awesome if I just think of coming back to see everyone we love and miss, but with that it also means, we have to spend all that money to get home which ever way we come back it will cost up no less then $3,000 that's enough to buy a car or a deposit on a house around here.. Just to get home and then Steven will be quitting his job and so all three of us will be coming home, with no job, no where to put all our stuff and no where to live (Although we know someone would let us stay with them probably) we don't want to do that to anyone so getting our own place would be what we wanted but no jobs equal no money!! 

My unemployment time is up I have no more money I can file until May or June I can try again but I don't know if I'll get it or not and I need a job by then!! 

So with all this being said, Steven, mom and I are still talking and trying to figure it all out.. We know and understand fully that everyone misses us and wants us back but we are trying to really work out the Pros and Cons on everything and really figure it out.. So please understand that.. 

We have also talked that maybe we just need to visit North Carolina and see everyone and spend some time together and all that good stuff and then come back here.. 

We want to get a place and have room for you all back there to be able to visit California and stay with us while your here, I know you all want to see California who doesn't.. It's beautiful here and so much nicer then how everyone has always made it out to be.. 

I also have big dreams, which I dream big but what the heck they could come true! I have dreams of being a Chef, a writer, and a Photographer.. Being here I am more willing in getting these things done then I am back home.. 

That's why figuring this out I have to get my act together and get done with school.. I hate that I'm not done yet, but I am going to get there and get it done.. It will be easier too when DannieLynn gets in school because, she'll be in school and I'll only need someone to watch one child and if mom was to get a job I could afford daycare or whatever just for Braxton..

I am a person that never wants to hurt or make anyone upset with me, so with that being said I understand if I go home Jeffrey and Carl will be up set, heck I'll be upset.. Terry and Lenny will be upset, Terry has been asking me what's wrong since I got boxes and started taking stuff out of the room... 

I also understand if we say that we want to stay that everyone in North Carolina will be up set with us and all that and this my friends is the BIGGEST reason I didn't want to tell anyone we were even talking about coming home!!

So here it is I am spilling my guts Truly and Honestly to EVERYONE that reads this.. You may comment you opinion or whatever you feel like saying, but just know it's so much easier for me to talk to you about it like this or something I am not good with speaking it I don't want to hurt anyone and I HATE to cry when I'm talking to someone!! 

I hope you all understand where I am coming from and if you don't I am truly sorry but I love you all and always will no matter what!! 

❤ Danielle 

Day 28 of 28 LAST POST THIS MONTH!

Number 28: Write a letter to your younger self!! 

So if I could tell my younger self a little something, I'm not sure what all I would tell me but there is a little bit of stuff.. So here is my letter to myself... 

Dear Danielle, 

While your young take your time and enjoy the little things in life, like being a kid and having your parents to take care of you and listen to what they say because it's all for the better. Stay in school and really try hard to finish, when your supposed to because it's so much harder when your older.. 

Take your time growing up and really enjoy it, don't wish you were 16 then 18 and then 21 because it's nice having that freedom at those ages but not having to work and support your self is so much better then being an adult lol... 

Although I love working for the things I want and need, life is much easier as a child, when you don't have to stress about things or worry with anything going on in the world.. 

So enjoy those times and then grow up and get married and have your babies and be a adult, then enjoy that time.. ;-) 

I love my husband and Kids I would never ever change them for the world or when I got married or had my babies I had them early yes I know but that's ok I would never change it for anything.. 

Love, 

The older me: Danielle Griffin 

--

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read these blogs everyday of this challenge.. This is the last post for the month.. I truly enjoyed taking the time to write and I hope you liked reading.. 

I will be back soon with another post not sure when but I will be! So stay tune as I write more on all types of subject!! 

Thank you all so much!!! 

❤ Danielle

Day 27 of 28

Number 27: What song played during your first dance as Husband and Wife? Why? 

Let's see our wedding was four years ago this July... So it's hard to remember what we first danced too.. 

But that song was...

 

"Then" by Brad Pasiley we both loved that song and it just seemed to be the right song for us to dance too.. 

I remember trying not to stare

The night that I first met you

You had me mezmorized

And three weeks later

In the front porch light

Taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight

I hadn't told you yet

I thought I loved you then

Now you're my whole life

Now you're my whole world

I just can't believe

The way I feel about you girl

Like a river meets the sea

Stronger than its ever been

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then

This is the first part of the song and it explained us 100% and so it was just right for us to dance to this song!! 

I hope you enjoyed this short post and will be back tomorrow!! 

❤ Danielle

Day 26 of 28

Number 26: Your Favorite High School Moment? 

Well as everyone knows I didn't finish school, so I don't really have a favorite moment in High School I didn't stay long enough to have favorite anything... 

The short amount of time I was there tho I did always have a good time in when I was in classes I liked.. 

Which would be.. 

Parenting class, sewing, cooking.. 

Those were my favorite classes... 

I did have one good moment, which wasn't good at the time but funny now.. 

I was in sewing class, and we had a class full of girls and one boy, well this guy was my really good friend, so I was willing to be partners with him when we would sew and all... 

Well one day I was helping him sew and the thread broke, when I stuck my finger under the needle to fix the problem, he thought it would be funny to start sewing, ( Thankfully I just got my nails done) having fake fingernails saved my real nail from being sewed off like my fake one was lol.. Funny now but painful then!! 

Hope you all had a wonderful day.. Will see you back tomorrow for the next post.. 

❤ Danielle 

Day 25 of 28

Number 25: The Raiderattes are suing the Raiders because they claim they made less then $5.00 an hour. Do you believe NFL Cheerlearders should be paid more? 

I am not sure at all how true this topic here might be, or really what these Cheerlearders really make.. 

But... 

Yes I do feel if they only make $5.00 an hour they are getting the crap end of the deal, I know I know they aren't doing anything to dicult, like being slammed to the ground to have a football ripped from their hands.. 

But they are spending HOURS and HOURS getting ready for these game, working very hard to keep their figures perfect for the crowds and fans.. ( you know like that Bullying post) I would hate for a Cheerlearders to have a little meat someone will call her fat... 

Then there is Game day, these girls spend hours on the side lines cheering and screaming, probably loosing their voices to cheer on the team, and they might even loose but the girls are still cheering a long the whole time for them!! 

So regarudless of anything yes I think they should make more then $5.00 an hour.. Esp knowing that the NFL players make Thousands or even Millions, your dang Cheerlearders deserves some more too!! 

See you back here tomorrow... 

❤ Danielle